SERGEANT
MACGUFFIN
Sergeant MacGuffin was the chief of the Festeron Police in the twelfth (and possibly thirteenth) century. Festeron's
finest was noted for his love of chocolate and his tendency to fall
asleep on duty. This red-bearded man with bushy brows, had a high blood
pressure. Even when Festeron had not transformed into Witchville, this
man was known for his incredibly short-temper, continual anger, and a
mouth full of obscenities that was only temporarily silenced by
speechless rage. He was known for his dark uniform and storm trooper boots.
Sweetness
and light could not exist in Witchville. Since Sergeant
MacGuffin was already wicked in Festeron, he would only be more so in
under the curse. It was only when the island had been turned to
Witchville that he could allow his natural proclivities to reign free.
With him, nastiness became an art. Under this curse MacGuffin became
the head of Gladys' dreaded Boot Patrol that arrested curfew violators.
In
latter days, when the patrol no longer consisted of living giant boots,
but rather a troop of men in the spirit of the original, MacGuffin
appointed his son Brad as head of the Boot Patrol. The Sergeant also
fit himself with a variation of the Boot Patrol uniform, sporting
chains not only on the jacket, but on pants, boots and cap as well.
MacGuffin
had a very grim attitude towards his "panywaist of a son." Be believed
that Brad had not style, no delivery. There was no edge to his shout,
no sense of danger. He was out of place in this new man’s world. He
must have gotten it from his mother. What a total wimp she had been,
complaining about MacGuffin’s target practice sessions at three in the
morning, and even denying his occasional requests for dinners of raw
meat. Thus, MacGuffin refused to reveal to his son all of his gruesome
plans.
Anbody who disagreed with the Sergeant, he just took
every second one, stood them up against the wall, and had them shot. It
was a simple solution, and very effective at keeping the townspeople in
line. It had worked with the Boot Patrollers, too. Twenty-four had just
been to ungainly. They had had too much time off, too much leisure in
which to think. Twelve had been a balanced number. The childish romance
between Mr. Crisp and Violet Voss, MacGuffin found to be completely
despicable. Many were the times he had dreamed of lining one of the two
up against the wall and having one shot. He even planned to take over
Witchville after Gladys was dead.
There was no postman that
Sergeant MacGuffin despised more than Simon. This man had damaged his
son Brad by luring him into a crooked shell game. Both in prison and on
trial, the Sergeant, baked in rage, sputtered out flurries of
obscenities. But even this did not cool his temper. Once Simon had been
sentenced, this minion of The Evil One pestered the postman with vulgar
reminders that he needed to reach the magic shop to deliver the letter
as soon as possible. Once Witchville had begun, the Sergeant's Boot
Patrol made a prisoner of Simon. Though Gladys had instructed for
MacGuffin to turn the postman over to her, he planned to kill Simon
himself. But much to the Sergeant's berserked rage, Simon managed to
escape his underdungeon cell through a secret passage way. Simon nearly
escaped another encounter with the Sergeant, who had been waiting in
ambush for him with a rocket launcher, but was warned away by the magic
radio he carried. The only other mention of Sergeant MacGuffin, was
that after Simon had been victorious, he took Gladys somewhere to rest.