SERGEANT MACGUFFIN

Sergeant MacGuffin was the chief of the Festeron Police in the twelfth (and possibly thirteenth) century. Festeron's finest was noted for his love of chocolate and his tendency to fall asleep on duty. This red-bearded man with bushy brows, had a high blood pressure. Even when Festeron had not transformed into Witchville, this man was known for his incredibly short-temper, continual anger, and a mouth full of obscenities that was only temporarily silenced by speechless rage. He was known for his dark uniform and storm trooper boots.

Sweetness and light could not exist in Witchville. Since Sergeant MacGuffin was already wicked in Festeron, he would only be more so in under the curse. It was only when the island had been turned to Witchville that he could allow his natural proclivities to reign free. With him, nastiness became an art. Under this curse MacGuffin became the head of Gladys' dreaded Boot Patrol that arrested curfew violators.

In latter days, when the patrol no longer consisted of living giant boots, but rather a troop of men in the spirit of the original, MacGuffin appointed his son Brad as head of the Boot Patrol. The Sergeant also fit himself with a variation of the Boot Patrol uniform, sporting chains not only on the jacket, but on pants, boots and cap as well.

MacGuffin had a very grim attitude towards his "panywaist of a son." Be believed that Brad had not style, no delivery. There was no edge to his shout, no sense of danger. He was out of place in this new man’s world. He must have gotten it from his mother. What a total wimp she had been, complaining about MacGuffin’s target practice sessions at three in the morning, and even denying his occasional requests for dinners of raw meat. Thus, MacGuffin refused to reveal to his son all of his gruesome plans.

Anbody who disagreed with the Sergeant, he just took every second one, stood them up against the wall, and had them shot. It was a simple solution, and very effective at keeping the townspeople in line. It had worked with the Boot Patrollers, too. Twenty-four had just been to ungainly. They had had too much time off, too much leisure in which to think. Twelve had been a balanced number. The childish romance between Mr. Crisp and Violet Voss, MacGuffin found to be completely despicable. Many were the times he had dreamed of lining one of the two up against the wall and having one shot. He even planned to take over Witchville after Gladys was dead.

There was no postman that Sergeant MacGuffin despised more than Simon. This man had damaged his son Brad by luring him into a crooked shell game. Both in prison and on trial, the Sergeant, baked in rage, sputtered out flurries of obscenities. But even this did not cool his temper. Once Simon had been sentenced, this minion of The Evil One pestered the postman with vulgar reminders that he needed to reach the magic shop to deliver the letter as soon as possible. Once Witchville had begun, the Sergeant's Boot Patrol made a prisoner of Simon. Though Gladys had instructed for MacGuffin to turn the postman over to her, he planned to kill Simon himself. But much to the Sergeant's berserked rage, Simon managed to escape his underdungeon cell through a secret passage way. Simon nearly escaped another encounter with the Sergeant, who had been waiting in ambush for him with a rocket launcher, but was warned away by the magic radio he carried. The only other mention of Sergeant MacGuffin, was that after Simon had been victorious, he took Gladys somewhere to rest.