Known by almost all by her nickname "Nasty", Nasturtium used to
hate the dark as a child. When she started studying magic, she knew if
she never could memorize another spell, she would memorize FROTZ. It
had saved her a small fortune in candles and lamp oil. And when she
later owned a castle, without it, the lighting bills would have
During the reign of Kwisko (c. 150-175 GUE),
Nasturtium was married to a man who already had given birth to a
previous daughter, the haughty Esmerelda. When her father passed away,
Nasturtium inherited his Mauldwood castle and became the guardian of
his daughter. When Esmerelda was both mature of age and
countenance, Esmerelda was
the sight of every man. Despite her most crafty and shrewd means,
almost unable to stop the overly comely woman from throwing herself at
in pants. Originally the witch forbade her from leaving the castle, but
selfish Esmerelda was not about to submit herself to any form of
obedience. These days presented her with many opportunities to perfect
stealth abilities by sneaking in and out of the castle right under
nose. Esmerelda presumed that her terribly ugly stepmother was jealous
beauty, but this was a false claim. A mother had a responsibility, and
Nasturtium had to resort to enchantment. It was the only way she could
Nasturtium spent a lot of money on a casket, the
finest in Quendor (to match Esmerelda’s obsession for the best of everything), and
placed a time-suspension spell upon the needle of a spinning wheel. Esmerelda
was lured by the witch into a room where the wheel was set. Upon set her hands
to it, she pricked a finger and fell victim to the time-suspension spell. She
placed Esmerelda into a casket in one of the upper tower rooms. This was where
the comely maiden would sleep and retain her youth and beauty for five hundred
years, when a kiss would awaken her during the days of Duncanthrax.
But magic must be constantly renewed.
Even so, it
is not quite stable. It leaks. Thus over the years, the leakage
coffin first, slowing down time within. Then it spread throughout the
room. As the spell was constantly renewed over and over, the effect
permeated the entire castle and enveloped the entire forest of
an hour or two to one wandering within its ancient depths could be
even entire decades in the realm without. Even Nasturtium was effected.
Over the years she grew a terrible reputation, and most of the other
residents of Mauldwood desperately feared her.
the years, Nasturtium grew stoop-shouldered with a half bent back. Her
gray hair swept upward and moved with every slight motion she made, as
if it were bleached seaweed growing underwater, and warts grew upon her
needlike nose. She always was swathed all in black-dress, cloak even a
pointed hat. A particularly nasty smile was usually seen upon her
fat-joweled face, as she laughed at her own cleverness in her
high-pitched voice. She was a real witch if there ever was one. “That
Nasty’s got a face like hail damage on an old barn roof," those of the
seventh century would say, amongst other nasty things about her.
preferred method of transportation was the broom. To ride it, she
lifted one foot and kicked downward several times without actually
touching the ground, and one of her wrists made a sharp, twisting
motion. A keen roar filled the doorway as a sudden wind whistled around
her and swept her wizard’s cloak straight out.
665-668 (as time passes differently within Mauldwood), three men,
Caspar Wartsworth, Sunrise, and Satchmoz the Incomparable dared to
tread upon her castle grounds. Despite the smart-mouthed statue which
she set up to warn intruders to keep away, they trespassed upon her
property. While Nasturtium did not keep away from her castle for long,
she was away when they arrived. They awakened Esmerelda from her
slumber, and nearly managed to escape before the main doors suddenly
disappeared and were replaced with a solid wall. The witch Nasturtium
had returned. After a lengthy argument, Nasturtium finally gave in to
their pleas and allowed for Esmerelda to depart with the men. As
they left, Nasturtium called behind them, “I told you boys you’d pay
for waking her up. Well, you will, too. I’m letting you take her.” For
she knew how spoiled, selfish, ungrateful, and bratish the snobbish
Shortly after they had left, the advancement of the
Great Underground Highway burrowed beneath her basement. The shaking of
the tunneling caused the entire north tower of her castle to fall in.
She was determined to find those responsible and had followed the
tunnel all the way to Borphee. When she emerged, she stumbled upon
Satchmoz, Sunrise, Caspar, and Esmerelda who were attempted to escape
from the Borphee Guild of Wizards. She joined the group as they fled
the courtyard to an old warehouse near the wharves. She turned out to
be rather friendly, and offerred to assist them.
Nasturtium realized that Satchmoz’s SATCHMOZ looked exactly like her
TRIZBORT, they all agreed to reenter the palace. This time Nasturtium
would be the anchor for AIMFIZ. She flew into the courtyard on her
broom and used a powerful spell to put all of the guards on the
exterior of the palace to sleep. She saved an additional one for the
soldiers still within. When they had given her plenty of time to
properly complete her deeds, Satchmoz AIMFIZed them to her position
inside the palace.
Once inside the palace, Nasturtium magically
put more guards to sleep. Satchmoz was highly impressed with the
magical ability of the ugly witch. Without anyone noticing when she
left, Esmerelda went in search of Meezel. A low laugh rumbled out of
the darkness—someone knew that they were there.
A corridor that
they found gradually descended to an abandoned torture chamber deep
below the palace. Another low laugh vibrated through the air as they
followed the passage beyond that descended lower and lower underground.
It was then that the party realized that the source of the laughter was
a single pursuing grue. The rumor that all grues had been eradicated by
Entharion the Wise caused this encounter to be startling.
keep the grue at bay, Caspar plucked a few broom straws from
Nasturtium’s previously FROTZed broom and flicked them into the
darkness. A straw was dropped every twenty paces or so to keep the grue
away as the party continued onward. Without warning, the tunnel
suddenly sloped download like a slide. They all tumbled into a node
with several tunnels leading from it and with a huge crystal door.
FROTZ spell on the broom died, plunging them all into complete
darkness. The grue fell into the node with them. Burble went after the
grue but was instantly swatted away. In retaliation, Nasturtium FROTZed
the grue. Before their horrified eyes, the maddened beast ran about
chaotically with pain-wracked roaring, pounding on the walls while its
fur and flesh were consumed by the light. All that remained was a black
smoking crumbled mass.
Pseudo-Duncanthrax appeared in the
chamber, enraged by the death of his pet grue. But before anyone could
assault him, he VAXUMed the entire group, forcing them to become
adoring subjects. Now that they were all subjected, Pseudo-Duncanthrax
opened the great crystal door with a touch of his wand.
in the meantime had found Meezel in the dungeon, who had been
terrorizing the guards. She suddenly dropped in from one of the chutes.
Unable to stop her momentum, she knocked Pseudo-Duncanthrax over. A
harsh word from him broke the VAXUM enchantment. The king tried to
escape into the crystal room, but Meezel dropped in from above and
landed on his back. His cloak was torn off, but using his wand, he
escaped through a hidden door that locked behind him and Drespo
Molmocker, impersonator of Duncanthrax, slipped from the pages of
A search of through Pseudo-Duncanthrax’s cloak
revealed KATPI, VAXUM and PLASTO scrolls in the cloak (as well as a
small key ring, bottle opener, 2 zorkmids, 1 zorkle, 4 lint balls).
passed through the crystal door into the Great Underground Highway, and
came to a place where hundreds of men, woman, and children were making
mortar for the highway’s roadbed. The real King Duncanthrax in amongst
this group, that had all been ensorcelled by Pseudo-Duncanthrax’s
VAXUM. An outburst of anger at Duncanthrax from the party instantly
broke the VAXUM spell. Burble went around whispering naughty words into
people’s ears to break each individual’s enchantment.
Nasturtium had always desired for Esmerelda to be in a good marriage,
and cast a love spell. Because of the enchantment, Esmerelda was
instantly attracted to the king. The two were amorous for each other
from that day forth.
Satchmoz realized that the entire group
could not return the way they had come, but believed that he could use
TRIZBORT/SATCHMOZ to transport everyone home. Satchmoz told everyone
present, including Burble, to concentrate on their homes for the
enormous amount of presence that would be required by the spell.
Everyone chanted “There’s no place like home” while Satchmoz cast the
spell. Everyone was transported back to their respective homes. This
event of returning home is known today as “The Great Magic.”
the famed Satchmoz, who was in love with Nasturtium, had plans to see
her again in the near future. The witch had not had a date in four
centuries and Satchmoz had never had one.