Johann Sebastian Flathead was born in 728 GUE. In 732 GUE, the Frobozz Philharmonic Orchestra was formed. Because of the woeful lack of orchestral music in existence, the FPO usually settled for playing baroque versions of old folk tunes and popular dance numbers. Seven years later, the FPO performed their first symphony. The piece was notable because of the age of its author, a precocious eleven-year-old named Johann Sebastian.

As he matured, Johann's symphonies increased in length, while his audiences mysteriously decreased in size. (No reasonable postulation has been made to explain Johann's lack of popularity. It is the belief of this author that the short attention span of the general public precluded it from sitting still for the whole of one of his symphonies.) His Symphony #981, the so-called Infinite Symphony, contained over 60,000 movements; over the course of its only performace, several members of the orchestra retired and were replaced by their children or grandchildren.

Dimwit recognized a kindred spirit in his younger brother, and appointed him official court composer in 771. Later that year, he wrote his famous "Flatheadia Overture for Rack and Pendulum" to celebrate the dedication of Dimwit's new dungeon. He spent his latter years composing music for ever more grandiose instruments, such as his "Concerto for Woodwinds and Waterfalls".

For the royal elite, more classical styles of music were in vogue. The most famous of these works is the "Toccata and Fugue and Theme and Variations, Opus No. 69105" by Johann Sebastian Flathead, commissioned by Lord Dimwit the Excessive. The piece was only performed once in its entirety, in 787. Legend has it that several members of the 98,000-piece royal orchestra, chorus, corps de ballet, artillery battery, fireworks brigade, and smoke effects crew failed to survive the eighty-seven day ordeal.

Johann was killed on 14 Mumberbur 789 when a mishap occurred during a rehearsal of his Minuet for Violin and Volcano.

His corpse was later placed in the Tomb of the Twelve Flatheads and his skull upon a pole outside the same crypt by the "Keeper of the Dungeon." Although dead, the Twelve Flatheads foresaw that some cretin might tamper with their remains. Therefore, they took steps to punish trespassers with a curse. It is assumed that his remains are still there to this day.

Other pieces composed by Johann include, "Air on a Grue String."