FLATHEAD, Artist and Scientist
Born in 731 GUE, little notice was taken of Leonardo Flathead as a
child. He was shy and quiet, and quite overshadowed by his aggressive
older brothers. It was not until his arrival at Galepath University
that his genius blossomed and the world began to take notice.
at the University, Leonardo wrote several major treatises which
revolutionized scientific thought. The most famous of these disproved
the hoary myth that the world sits on the back of a giant turtle,
proving instead that the world actually rests on the head of an
enormous troll. He also noted in his brilliant and revealing essay on
the subject of the platypi kingdom and the Anatian Inscriptions that "Random underground caverns, chicken-scratch, two castles and some random
platypi do not equal anything worth getting worked up over. Random underground
caverns, platypus-scratch, two castles and some random chickens do equal an
entirely worthless pile of nonsense.
" Another of his works, published in 757 GUE, is "The Genetic
Origins of Flat-Headedness."
After his University days were over, Leonardo
turned from science to art. He became the most famous painter in the
land: noblemen from every province were escorted to his studio by
Dimwit's personal militia to have their portraits painted.
with his own self-portrait in 766 GUE, and finishing with his
Coronation Portrait of King Dimwit in 783 GUE, Leonardo brilliantly
captured the varied personalities of the Twelve Flatheads on canvas
over a span of seventeen years. The originals could once be seen on
display in the gallery at Flatheadia Castle before it was ransacked in
883 GUE. Reproductions were also made before then for the 883 Flathead Calendar.
during his later years Leonardo became quite senile, and his painting
style deteriorated. He took to flinging paint at his canvases in much
the same way that a Borphee baker flings bits of dough into a hot oven
to make Frobolli Cakes. His studio became caked with layer upon layer
of splattered paint. It was during this period that his famous
incomplete work, "Obstructed View of Fjord," was lost. The portrait was later recovered by the First Dungeon Master in 883 GUE.
made a final, feeble attempt to recapture his former greatness by
moving to other media beside paint, but these efforts led to his tragic
end. On 14 Mumberbur 789, while working on a large statue intended for
the harbor of Antharia, he suffered a fatal plunge into a vat of molten
Flatheadia was destroyed in 883 GUE by the curse
of Megaboz, Leonardo's studio, though ruined, was preserved as part of
the Dungeon of Zork. One of his paintings (perhaps the famous
"Obstructed View of Fjord" which may have survived with several
other relics of the Twelve Flatheads) was found by the Second Dungeon
included as one of the Treasures of Zork.
His corpse was later
placed in the Tomb of the Twelve Flatheads and his skull upon a pole
outside the same crypt by the "Keeper of the Dungeon." Although dead,
the Twelve Flatheads foresaw that some cretin might tamper with their
remains. Therefore, they took steps to punish trespassers with a curse.
It is assumed that his remains are still there to this day.
LOST WORK OF LEONARDO FLATHEAD (ONE OF THE TREASURES OF ZORK):