ALVA FLATHEAD, Inventor Extraordinaire
Many have mastered the magical arts; few applied them to the
creation of practical devices as masterfully as the great inventor
Thomas Alva Flathead.
Born in 730 GUE, his brilliance was
evident even in childhood. Thomas Alva, the sixth son in his family,
was constantly tormented by his siblings: no sooner would he get a toy
to play with than some older brother would snatch it away. Thomas Alva
quickly remedied the situation by inventing powerful steel traps which,
at first glance, looked exactly like toy boats or stuffed dornbeasts.
an adult, Thomas Alva produced a seemingly endless stream of inventions
from his laboratory, Froblo Park. His most useful inventions include
the magic room spinner and the magic compressor (of which nonworking
models were later donated by John D. Flathead to the Technology Museum
of the Royal Museum), but he is probably best-known as the inventor of
the battery-powered brass lantern.
Thomas Alva also made a
number of breakthroughs in the area of personally-ingested magic. His
most famous invention in this area was a yellowish-green potion which
allowed humans to talk to plants.
Alva Flathead also designed a set of twelve specialty cannons for his
mad brother, King Dimwit. Chloe the Cannon and the Foo dog cannon, both
stylistically similar, are among the dozen.
All of these inventions were
marketed by FrobozzCo International, providing Thomas Alva with
generous royalties. But he spurned wealth, living in a small room
behind his laboratory and sleeping on an unfinished wooden board.
Thomas Alva died on 14
Mumberbur 789 GUE from a severe case of splinters.
corpse was later placed in the Tomb of the Twelve Flatheads and his
skull upon a pole outside the same crypt by the "Keeper of the
Dungeon." Although dead, the Twelve Flatheads foresaw that some cretin
might tamper with their remains. Therefore, they took steps to punish
trespassers with a curse. It is assumed that his remains are
still there to this day