THOMAS ALVA FLATHEAD, Inventor Extraordinaire

Many have mastered the magical arts; few applied them to the creation of practical devices as masterfully as the great inventor Thomas Alva Flathead.

Born in 730 GUE, his brilliance was evident even in childhood. Thomas Alva, the sixth son in his family, was constantly tormented by his siblings: no sooner would he get a toy to play with than some older brother would snatch it away. Thomas Alva quickly remedied the situation by inventing powerful steel traps which, at first glance, looked exactly like toy boats or stuffed dornbeasts.

As an adult, Thomas Alva produced a seemingly endless stream of inventions from his laboratory, Froblo Park. His most useful inventions include the magic room spinner and the magic compressor (of which nonworking models were later donated by John D. Flathead to the Technology Museum of the Royal Museum), but he is probably best-known as the inventor of the battery-powered brass lantern.

Thomas Alva also made a number of breakthroughs in the area of personally-ingested magic. His most famous invention in this area was a yellowish-green potion which allowed humans to talk to plants.

Thomas Alva Flathead also designed a set of twelve specialty cannons for his mad brother, King Dimwit. Chloe the Cannon and the Foo dog cannon, both stylistically similar, are among the dozen.

All of these inventions were marketed by FrobozzCo International, providing Thomas Alva with generous royalties. But he spurned wealth, living in a small room behind his laboratory and sleeping on an unfinished wooden board. Thomas Alva died on 14 Mumberbur 789 GUE from a severe case of splinters.

His corpse was later placed in the Tomb of the Twelve Flatheads and his skull upon a pole outside the same crypt by the "Keeper of the Dungeon." Although dead, the Twelve Flatheads foresaw that some cretin might tamper with their remains. Therefore, they took steps to punish trespassers with a curse. It is assumed that his remains are still there to this day