THE FIRST INQUISITION
Extremist religions spring up whenever an empire collapses, and the
anticipated destruction of Flatheadia was not an exception.
Early spring 881 GUE, the first violent stirrings of the First
Inquisition swept through the streets of Foozle, and quickly through
the forests to nearby Flatheadia. The followers of this crackpot
religious sect believed that the impending doom of the Curse of Megaboz
was caused by widespread sinning, and the only way to forestall the
curse was to appease the gods. The original goals of the movement,
rather than beginning with an indiscriminate massacre of the general
populace, called for the sacrifice of only those people in power,
particularly members of the Flathead family. Correspondingly, after the
sack and looting of several governmental buildings, the growing ranks
of the extremist cult group laid siege to the Flathead Castle itself,
seizing both the key forest roads and underground caverns leading away
from the capital.
Surprised by the stiff resistance encountered
from the local garrison within the castle, the attackers were forced to
settle down for the long haul. As it turned out, the makeshift and
unprofessional job by the Inquisition of cutting off all communications
with the surrounding countryside did nothing to prevent news of the
crisis from reaching Idwit in his distant underground retreat. Shaken
from his sickness and lethargy by the news of the imposing threat to
his son, Wurb's life, Idwit Oogle Flathead was moved to one final,
Against the better judgment of his advisors, who
urged his to wait and let the crisis defuse itself, the aged Flathead
monarch mustered the few troops available to him from the garrisons of
the Grey Mountains Province and began the long march to the south.
few weeks later, a serious split in the Inquisition leadership, marking
the beginning of persecution of the general population, had
significantly weakened the makeshift forces besieging Flatheadia. This
second branch, believed that the sacrifice of those in royalty were not
enough, that the gods could only be placated if every person in the
entire kingdom was executed. (For obvious reasons, the Inquisition
never enjoyed a widespread popularity.)
The arrival of the
relieving army from the north brought the whole affair to a sudden and
painful halt, the remaining Inquisition extremists around the castle
crushed in a matter of hours. Unfortunately, the events of the last few
weeks seem to have been too much for Idwit's mental well-being.
Unwilling to wait in relative safety while his forces secured victory,
he somewhat recklessly mounted his steed and charged ahead to lead his
army to battle. To this day, it is not known whether the dozen arrows
found lodged in his back came from the Quendoran archers he was trying
to lead, or from the archers of the Inquisition that he was soon trying
to flee. In any case, the eleventh king of the Flathead dynasty was
dead, and only his sixteen year old son remained.
of the Inquisition seized total control over Port Foozle and several
other sites around the world. Centralized at Foozle, this lunatic
religious fringe begun a systematic decimation of the local population
in hopes that the Curse could be averted if there was no one alive to
notice it, which understandably led to the city’s decline in
popularity. Oddly enough, the vicious executioners in Foozle did allow
the victims one final wish. If the wish could not be granted, the
person was beheaded. If the wish could be granted, it was, and the
person was subsequently hanged.
THE EXECUTION LINE OF THE INQUISITION
execution site in Port Foozle, marked by its welcoming, "Sinners: Enter
here for purification!" sign, was a stone building. It was usually
staffed by a hooded executioner, dripping with sweat and blood, who
stood between a gallows and a block. People queued up before of
the executioner. A further sign within read:
"Sinners, take note!
1. We cannot execute everyone at once! Please take a number!
2. Everyone is permitted a final request.
3. Tell the executioner your request when your number is called.
4. If we cannot grant your final wish, we shall be quick and merciful. We will
5. If we CAN grant your final wish, we will hang you. Please note that this is
slow and excruciatingly painful."
are only two recorded people that were able to thwart the executioner.
One was Megaboz (in the guise of the court jester, who turned into a
whisp of smoke and vanished. The other was the unknown peasant who
would become the First Dungeon Master. This wise man was able to
confuse the executioner by requesting that he be beheaded. But if he
was beheaded, then his last wish was granted and he had to be hung. But
if he was hung, then his wish would have been granted and he was to be
beheaded. The executioner had the guards toss him out.