An Inquisition Guard:
       Capturing a griff, 1037 (A) / (B) / (C) / (D) / (E)
       Arresting Lucy, 1058 (A) / (B)
       Smiting an adventurer, 1067 (A) / (B)
       Arresting Jack, 1067 (A) / (B)

The Inquisition Guard was Grand Inquisitor Mir Yannick's exceptional unit, members being commonly employed as his bodyguard. Wielding his remote control, Chief Undersecretary Wartle led the Inquisition Guard. Inquisition Guards were required to bring all offenders of the law to the Steppinthrax Monastery for totemization. Those who dared to smite offenders before giving them this penalty were issued a written reprimant by Wartle.

Wartle's closest henchmen, an unknown member of the Guard, was responsible for the single-handed capture of a certain griff in 1037 GUE. Shadowing Wartle, this Guard was also on hand for the arrest of Lucy Flathead in 1058, and Antharia Jack in 1067 who had been framed for arson. He was a bit starstruck by Jack, but loved to smite anybody he got a chance to. He manned the Foozle jail in 1067 when AFGNCAAP and Antharia Jack made their jailbreak.

Brog was a member of the Inquisition Guard, until he was found guilty for crimes against the Inquisition, resulting in his totemization in 1037.

An unknown Private, Seventh Class, in the Inquisition Guard was responsible for the exploration of a heretofore undiscovered area in the Great Underground Empire near Port Foozle in 1066. The minion received a half day off for the exemplary work.