Chief Undersecretary Wartle

       Wartle, Profile
       Wartle arrests Lucy, 1058 GUE (A)(B)(C)(D)(E)
       Wartle arrests Jack, 1067 GUE (A)(B)(C)
       Wartle arrests AFGNCAAP, 1067 GUE (A)(B)(C)(D)


Chief Undersecretary Wartle (also known as Vice Undersecretary Wartle), was the Undersecretary to the Undersecretary to the Secretary of the Zork Patents Office. In the beginning of the eleventh century (sometime between c. 1000~1033 GUE), Archbishop Mir Yannick, who was sojourning in the wonderfully horrid White-Collar Confessions Ministry, heard the confession of this convicted criminal embezzler. Yannick knew then how his destiny should unfold. After handing out a number of Hail Yoruks, Mir opened the confessional and offered an alternative rehabilitative plan: he would use his influence with the Grand Inquisitor to demand a full pardon from Syovar III, if Wartle would begin altering a few patents for unique Zork technologies, here and there, transferring them into Mir’s possession, as only a partially reformed patents embezzler knew how. Mir became certain that his rise to power and fortune—not to mention his vengeance upon magic—would lie with technology. Though popular sentiment had long held that technology was for “stupid people”—inferior people who had no magic to them—in the new, anti-magical economy, technology would become invaluable. A new magic, belonging exclusively to Archbishop Mir himself.

Wartle, who had always been spineless, fell under the spell of the Archbisop's ambition immediate and joined in on what would become known as the Second Inquisition. The irritating, mustachioed second-in-command of the Magic Inquisition, was the effervescent minion, henchman, and confidante of the more bile-ridden Grand Inquisitor. Apart from leading the Inquisition Guard, Yannick appointed Wartle, and a certain number of trustworthy men, to the task of Magic Surveillance. The Chief Undersecretary was also responsible for other minute tasks, such as issuing written reprimands for Inquisition sentries that disobeyed orders.

In 1033 GUE, there were unmistakable signs throughout the Empire of the return of magic. Fearing its reemergence, Yannick sought out some sort of technology that would "Un-Name" the races of magical creatures. Hastily, with fear of displeasing his master, Wartle searched out a handful of out-of-date patents—including one for a massive, misshapen machine, a remnant from the Flathead Dynasty—when Enchanters were plenty and plenty troublesome, and Lord Dimwit was always looking for some way to control them. Wartle produced not only the patents, but discovered the very machines first employed by Dimwit Flathead for the same hostile purpose—controlling the magical masses. One of these long lost machines was the very nasty Totemizer, unused since the Unnatural Acts in the days of Duncanthrax. In addition to this, Wartle managed to retrieve several other useful technologies dating back to Dimwit Flathead, the least of these being a deceptively simple iron cap, known to enemies of the Flathead Dynasty as the “Maidenhead," which he used to murder Syovar III. By 1047 GUE, when Mir would succeed to the High Office of Grand Inquisitor himself, he possessed the patent to every known piece of registered, trademarked, and patented technology in the Great Underground Empire, going so far as to resurrect the famed, abandoned Frobozz Magic Company as the Frobozz Electric Company.

Soon after Yannick had obtained the position of Grand Inquisitor, removed Syovar III, and defeated the Third Dungeon Master, reports from Wartle's Magic Surveilance team began to flood in. The land appeared to be quickened and invigorated, growing with magical life again.

In 1058 GUE, Wartle and one of the Inquisition Guards arrested Lucy Flathead in Port Foozle, where they caught her defacing Inquisition propaganda and emplying telepathic abilities. She was placed under arrest and placed on trial to be sentenced for totemization.

Once Port Foozle was liberated in Frobuary 1067, Wartle, wielding his remote control, led the Inquisition Guard through Port Foozle. On Frobuary 34th, Wartle and a member of the Guard arrested Jack, who had been framed for arson by AFGNCAAP. They brought him to Steppinthrax Monastery for Totemization. That same night, Mir Yannick proceeded with Wartle to apprehend AFGNCAAP and the totems just as they emerged from the Steppinthrax Monastery time tunnel. Wartle had the adventurer stripped of his belongings and locked up in the Port Foozle jail in a cell adjacent to Antharia Jack.

Although Wartle stayed behind personally with a small regiment of Inquisition guards (less than the usual number) while the majority of the troops attended Mir Yannick at the Flathead Mesa (it was now the 35th), Antharia Jack and AFGNCAAP managed to make a jail break and escape to the Flathead Mesa where they defeated Yannick, returned magic to the land, and stopped the Inquisition. Wartle's fate following the end of the Second Inquisition is unknown.