THE WIZARD OF AG
The Wizard of Ag lived along the Gurth Woodland Trail in a rundown
shack (which in the time of the Great
Monster Uprising had not only seen better days, but
better decades: its roof was
checkered with holes while the door hung off its
hinges) hidden away in secret seclusion. During those days, he was
described as a
tall, thin wizard with a ragged
beard with "Wizard" stitched into his hat.
It is rumored that the Wizard of Ag has some correlation to the Wizard of Froon.THE WIZARD AND THE DRUNK
The known event of this wizard's career, involved a Port Foozle drunk. The Drunk used to come
to visit the Wizard of Ag and scare
for him in exchange for hang-over cures. One day during the Great
Monster Uprising, the Wizard of Ag was invited to a certain gala event
at the Casino in Port Foozle to celebrate the opening of a pathway into
some dimensions made entirely out of granola.Taking his best set of enchanted poker chips and rigged dice, along with his best nose
, he left his assistant, a talking raven, in charge to make sure that nothing wandered into the house and stole the jar of spare eyeballs while he was away.
At the Casino, the wizards, along with the most famous Grand Wizard, gathered for the gala wizard event, with all with
all the accompanying light show, fireworks, and tuxedo-wearing ice
elementals serving drinks. His celebrating was interrupted when The
Drunk, who was in need of a new liver, arrived along with three others
("Detective Softly", an unlucky lucksucker, and an unintimidating
kobold). The Wizard was willing to help the three, but, since he was
unable to simply pull the stuff out of his hat, sent them on a quest to
find the spines of one of the few plants that grew near the edge of the
world (Kovalli Desert), and then acquire him one of the exquisite
baskets made by the crabs of Crab Island.
the quartet sought the two items, the Grand Wizard, intoxicated with
too much fermented dreamscape, set fire to the hall, forcing all the
other wizards to depart. The Wizard of Ag returned home, where the
quartet finally tracked him down. When they handed over the two items,
he assisted them.
To the lucksucker he gave the following
advice: "Do the opposite of what you think you should do! If you have a
really good hunch, ignore it." And to the kobold: "Buy yourself a huge
axe. You'll find that that does the snarling for you, I think." And the
Drunk was given a new liver. Unfortunately, upon his recovery from
surgery, the Drunk thanked the Wizard by stealing the Ruby Boots of Ag
from the hut, tossed them to "Detective Softly" and then made a run for
the woods. As far as is known, the Wizard of Ag was never able to
recover his lost boots.
- The Wizard constructed a homemade shower for himself: a
metal bathtub with a bucket suspended over it, with heated water
running through some holes.
- One of the Wizard's favorite bath songs was "You ain't
nothin' but a hellhound."