GUE Tech, Second Age of Magic

  Eastlands Entrance Exterior, 1067 GUE
         REZROV-proof door (A) / (B)
         node: 4a / 4b
         node: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

  Great Dome Building Interior, 1067 GUE
         Rotunda - node 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5
         Hallways - node 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6
         Spell Lab - node 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5

  G.U.E. Tech, c. 1600s GUE
         Exterior Steps
         Infinite Corridor
         Edwards Hall, Exterior
         Students at Biology Class

  GUE Tech, Science of Enchantment degree
  GUE Tech Student I.D. Card (c.960s GUE)
  GUE Tech Student I.D. Card (1600s GUE):
              (front) / (back)

  GUE Tech Map (c. 1600 GUE) (A) / (B)


            "In Magic We Trust"
                 -former G.U.E. Tech motto

The Great Underground Empire Institute of Technology, founded by William Barton Flathead and George Underwood Edwards sometime prior to 786 GUE, is still the most prestigious engineering school and spellcasting institution in all of Zork (although due to the dispersal of magic in 1647, the magic careers have been temporarily suspended). Prior to the Great Diffusion of 1247, the university did not exist in our space-time, but in a parallel dimension called the Etheral Plane of Atrii, having (now disfunctional) magical gateways in at least Borphee and in the underground region near Port Foozle. There is still severe debate, even today, as to the uncertainty if the insitution was named after Edwards, or the "Great Underground Empire."

As of 873, it was still the newest of the Moss-League Colleges, producing the young Enchanters of tomorrow. Today, G.U.E. Tech, an equal opportunity institution, is accredited by the Frobozzian Commission for Higher Learning and is licensed by the Commonwealth of Quendor.

Despite the absense of magic throughout the land, for the prospective student, there is still a stringent, but wide-ranging cirriculum at G.U.E. Tech. As early as the tenth century GUE, all of the insitutions two and four year undergrounduate programs could be completed at night. Degree programs are offered in Civil Engineering, Mechanical Engineering, Interactive Engineering, Electrical Engineering, Zorkological Engineering, Angst Therapy Engineering, Biological Engineering, Nordandbertcouldn’tmakeheadortailofital Engineering, Liberal Arts, Labor Relations Engineering, Pharmaceutical Engineering, Activisional Engineering, Chemical Engineering, Bio-synthetic Engineering, Physical Engineering, Mental Engineering, Emotional Engineering, Biotechnical Engineering, Gabaccardial Engineering, Financial Engineering, Metallurgical Engineering, Thaumaturgical Engineering, and Desktop Publishing.

The university is also well-known for its MDL "exciting" degree in Paper Shuffling, which is advertised as a program that could lead its graduates to really big zorkmids:

        YOU too can make BIG MONEY in the exciting field of
                      PAPER SHUFFLING!

Mr. Anderson (TAA) says: "Before I took this course I was a lowly
bit twiddler. Now with what I learned at GUE Tech I feel really important and
can obfuscate and confuse with the best."

Dr. Marc Blank had this to say: "Ten short days ago all I could look forward to was
a dead-end job as a doctor. Now I have a promising future and make really big Zorkmids."

GUE Tech can't promise these fantastic results to everyone. But when you earn
Your MDL degree from GUE Tech, your future will be brighter.

Required courses for all students are offered in Ambition, Distraction, Uglification and Derision. The Humanities are not slighted in this institution, as the student may register for Reeling and Writhing, Mystery (Ancient and Modern), Seaography, and Drawling (which includes Stretching and Fainting in Coils).  Advanced students are expected to learn Laughing and Grief.

G.U.E. Tech holds a wide range of extra-curricular activities including intramural frobozzball, Rock Hops, Pop Physics Club, and Zorkaholics Anonymous. The institution's hometeam is the famous Magemeisters.

When magic was able to be actively practiced, students in the School of Enchantment either took classes in the well-known Enchanter Hall or went through a 12 week "Learn-at-Home" course. "Why spend your life as a woodcutter when magic can open doors for you?" According to 957 statistics, over 70% of G.U.E. Tech graduates found careers in magic-related guilds. Many even went on to start their own magic companies, and became an identifiable subculture known as "Yuppies," or "Young Underground Professionals." Others went on to obtaining their Doctor of Thaumaturgy (D.T.) or Doctorate in the Science of Enchantment. During this period, the annual Spelling Bee, in late spring, was free and open to the public.

G.U.E. Tech's resident researchers had always been on the cutting edge of magic technology. Before the collapse of the Great Underground Empire in 883, late-model robots, such as Robby, were produced by the Frobozz Magic Robot Company and trained at the university to perform various simple household functions.

In 957 the university's Spell Science Lab was heavily involved in research with highly GNUSTO-receptive paper which it hoped would be sensitive enough to allow even the most ancient and mighty spell to be copied. The results of this research were never revealed.

In the early 960s, Mir Yannick became the first student ever to be voted for explusion from G.U.E. Tech.

The first temporary collapse of magic happened in 966 GUE when a conflict between the powerful Head of the Circle and his own Shadow knocked the cosmic equilibrium out of balance. With the disappearance of the soil which G.U.E. Tech had been rooted within, the university closed immediately with the intent to never reopen.

But with the return of magic in its fullness in 1067, G.U.E. Tech once again summitted at the forefront of arcane research. Its students took advantage of the mutability of the Ethereal Planes to create a wide variety of ethereal creatures that adventurers could fight for practice. This flat and featureless landscape shrouded in thick mist was known as the G.U.E. Tech Training Grounds. Difficulties arose during the Great Monster Uprising when these threatening creatures of outlined shape somehow took on solid form and started fighting back. Thus the university was besieged by an endless sea of monsters, making it a premiere place for adventurers to travel to for a spurt of unlimited adventuring.

To even enter G.U.E. Tech, one was required to pass the entrance exams, which upon completion would produce a gateway leading from the physical world to Atrii. The Port Foozle entrance consisted of an exterior REZROV-accessible door (forbiding access to those without basic spellcasting ability), and a series of three ringed pillars barred on both sides by dangerous grass and bottomless pits. Upon each of the pillar's three rings were various images. The rings had to be rotated so that they formed one logical, continous image out of the three rows of pictures on each pillar. This was one to test aptitude for visualization, pattern recognition, and clicking. The portal to enter the university was made by aligning the third of these into the image of a window.

Although the university is in the Ethreal Plane of Atrii, it still is somehow mystically anchored to the physical world by its portals and is effected by events occurring in those regions. For example, on two occurrances (on in 1067), when the four sluice doors of Flood Control Dam #3 were closed the dam burst and the Frigid River flooded. Since the Great Underground Empire shares one predominant irrigation system, students as far away as the Eastlands Campus of G.U.E. Tech were flooded for an entire semester, causing the course in Magic Potions 101 to become Magic Kayaking 101, and subsequently rendering a term's worth of cheat notes utterly useless.

The Infinite Corridor, so-called because it was infinite, was part of the hazing procedures at G.U.E. Tech. Many a student have been flunked out for poor attendance because they could not get to their classes. There was a magical trick needed to traverse it: the sign, "The Infinite Corridor" was purple, thus requiring the use of an IGRAM spell ("turn purple things invisible") upon the words "Infinite" and making the hallway into a smallway. If one waited too long, the hallway would revert (this reverting process did not seem to effect those already traversing its length). However, alternate results were permitted to prevent foolish intruders. IGRAMing "Corridor" resulted in "The Infinite" in which the hallway disintegrated into the airless expanse of the cosmos. Since most adventurers were ill-equipped for such space travel, their heads would instantly explode. On certain days of the year, the setting sun shines all the way down the Infinite Corridor. Following the Great Diffusion of 1247, the abscence of magic resulted in the foundation of a finite corridor, although an extremely long finite corridor. Aside from the legendary Infinite Corridor, G.U.E. Tech is reputed to have had more bloits of corridor than any building except for the, now removed, castle at Flatheadia.

As this was a magic university, all doorways were magically sealed and REZROV-proofed. This included the tempered Borphean steel lockers, which were actually connected to the candy machine buttons and could only be opened with the purchase of a treat.

One of the many portals leading to the Bozbarland arena was installed within G.U.E. Tech during the Great Monster Uprising.

With the First Great Diffusion of 1247, the institution was again closed due to the dispersal of all magic, and physically relocated from the Ethereal Plane of Atrii to its portal entrance in the city of Borphee. But its facitilies did not close as was done at the end of the First Age of Magic. G.U.E. Tech relinquished its careers in magic, instead focusing to train students solely in the studies of science, technology, and engineering.

Classes included: Astronomy courses, Moral Philosophy courses, Intensive Metallurgy, Introduction to Fuel Gas Engineering, Textile Technology coures, Zinc As Life Force Seminar (Alchemy),

Large, underground tunnels connect most of the buildings. However, many of these tunnels are very old, and a number have been closed for safety reasons. While many students are tempted to explore, it is dangerous to risk such a daring adventurer. Several deaths have been attributed to student explorations in the tunnels, including rumors of uncertain repute related to demonic activity (see below). Closed tunnels are off-limits; they were closed for a reason and students are encouraged to restrain their curiosity and keep out of them.

It is usually the easiest for new students to live in a dormitory and subscribe to the school meal plan. But, as many students can contest, the easiest is not always the best, and in the case of G.U.E. Tech's food service, it is said to be the worst. Food ranges from bad to inedible, and the cafeterias are only open for a few hours around each mealtime. Instead, upperclass students have advised the freshment to consider 'roughing it'. Dorm-sized refrigerators are easy to come by, the area supermarkets carry a wide variety of both recognizable and exotic items, and hot meals were readily available from local restraunts--the general favorite of these being: Crust & Noodles, 
Dot 'n' Dash, Hoagie Shack, House of Roy, Reilly's Real Irish Pizza, and Rudy's Eating and Drinking Saloon.

Most dorms are co-ed, with men and women housed on separate floors. A few of the smaller upperclass dorms are for men only, and Stella Barton Hall houses fifteen senior women. First-year students are usually stuck with whatever room they are assigned to. Elrod Bok is reputed by students to be the best freshman dorm; Murani House had been said to be the worst. The best upperclass dorms are Berkowitz Hall and Lunce House, while Chapelgate is well-known as a party dorm. Dorm forniture is strictly functional and (if one was lucky) less than 50  years old. Most students outgrow the dorm bookshelf within one semester.

G.U.E. Tech has a host of fraternities and sororities. Pledging takes place the first week on campus. Since each house appeals to a different type, it is recommended for freshmen to analyze each of them to find one that is a good match. Information is always provided by the Interfraternity Council.

In spite of the abundance of rumors, G.U.E. Tech does not have the highest suicide rate in Greater Borphee. However, it is a high-pressure school. When things became distraught, students are encouraged to seek help at the Counseling Center. These visits do not appear on their permanent record, and complete confidentiality is maintained all at times.

Although students spend most of their time studying, they are urged to remember that life exists outside of textbooks and the computer screen. Some recommendations are the Museum of Contemporary Art or the Loeffler Aquarium, joining the Freshman Drama Group or the Hellenic Club, writing a weekly column for the G.U.E. GNEWS, or taking advantage of the Athletic Complex.

The invention of the automobile forced the installation of free above ground grue-free parking.

Biology students delve into the mysteries of the digestive
system. This popular course makes full use of G.U.E.'s
modern laboratory facilities.

School Traditions include:
    Lock Day
    Slug Stomping
    Founder's Day
    Final Scream
    Pigeon Day
    Streamer Day
G.U.E. Tech Jargon:
    -p (suffix)
    rug rat (or rat)

Following the invention of the automobile (which was first produced during the late 14th or early 15th century GUE), an event of debatable authenticity, involving the Lurking Horror occured in the lower regions of G.U.E. Tech at a time when magic was slowly beginning to return, most likely during this Third Age of Magic. [please see the appropriate entry for more information]

Written and composed by Maj. Chas. Gleason, it is customary for the chorus to be sung only by seniors and alumni, while the tune is hummed  by underclassmen. The final chorus is repeated, with everyone joining in. Originally, G.U.E. was commonly pronounced 'gooey' (rather than 'gee-you-ee' as it is today). The former pronunciation should be used when signing the alma mater.

    When Georgia planned his Institute
        Upon the river's neck,
        He little guessed the glories
        That would fall on G.U.E. Tech.

    So let's all toast our founder
        Raise high the glass of beer
        There's nothing we would rather
        Than a G.U.E. engineer.

    Our commonwealth of farmers
        Held industry in check
        Until a school for engineers
        Broke ground at G.U.E. Tech


    Architects built up the country
        Designing bridge and deck
        The best were trained and tutored right
        Here at old G.U.E. Tech.


    G.U.E.'s more than labs and texts,

        So let's say "What the heck!
        On Pigeon Day we'll take a break
        From class at G.U.E. Tech!"


    G.U.E. buddies that you make

        Will long be at your beck.
        You'll not find dearer friendships
        Than those forged at G.U.E. Tech.


    So let's all toast our founder
        Raise high the glass of beer
        There's nothing we would rather be
        Than a G.U.E. engineer.