UNKNOWN
ADVENTURER #4
In the year 956 GUE, an unknown adventurer with surprising sword-skills explored the
Dungeon of Zork beneath the
White House carrying a
brass lantern, an
elfin sword, and compass, looking desperately for
Flood Control Dam #3 and seeking
to become
Dungeon Master (whether he was aware that several years prior
a previous adventurer had donned the title, is unknown, and thus
history has not let us enough information to know if he was seeking to
become the Second or Third Dungeon Master). In the process he met the
Wizard of Frobozz.
Elsewhere, an
unknown Enchanter spotted this bedraggled adventurer on the other side of a mirror in the
Hall of Mirrors in
Largoneth Castle. When this Enchanter chanted a ZIFMIA spell (“magically summon a being”), all at once,
the adventurer appeared before him. As the luckless adventurer was
fearful and distrustful, it took the efforts of VAXUM (“make a hostile
creature your friend”) to subdue him into communication.
Krill had protected the door to the map room of the northeast tower of Largoneth
with an incredibly frightful illusion: its massive lock was wrapped in
a dozen six-inch thick iron chains. In addition, a certain five-headed
monster sporting razor-sharp spears for tongues seemed to be imbedded
within its heavy oak frame. One is almost embarrassed to mention the
gargoyles spewing flame and sulphurous ash which ornamented either side
of the door, or the ninety-seven slimy groping tentacles which taunted
the Enchanter ever closer to certain death. A sign, which floated
serenely above the door and glowed hideously in purple letters, offered
the following rude understatement: “Don’t Bother”. Seeking to gain entrance to this room, the Enchanter was able to coax
the adventurer into attempting to enter. What the Enchanter did not
realize was that this illusion only affected him. The seemingly
fearless adventurer, who could see nothing of the image, shrugged and
walked purposefully toward the door, ignoring all harm to his person in
the form of knives, tentacles, and molten lead. As three buckets of the
latter poured over his head, he casted the Enchanter a perplexed look,
“Did you try the doorknob?” he asked, as twenty-seven knives delicately
skewered him.
Before the Enchanter could answer, he reached for one of the gargoyle
heads which, by sheerest coincidence, had just flooded him in
red-orange flame, and turned it gently.
“I think it’s unlocked,” he said, stoically ignoring the host of
human-sized rats which fed on his incinerated torso. His left hand,
broken and bloodied, pulled at the gargoyle head.
“I’m going on ahead!” he cried, opening a simple wooden door. The
Enchanter rubbed his eyes for a moment and looked again as he went
through it. The illusion had dispelled and before him was just a plain
wooden door.
The Enchanter went inside and discovered a magic map and
pencil. These two devices were necessary to retrieve the GUNCHO
(“banish the victim to another plane of existence”) scroll which had
been imprisoned with the
Great Terror in the passages below by
Entharion the Wise nearly 950 years
ago. After being magically coaxed into helping the Enchanter, the
fate of this adventurer is a mystery save possibly a swordfight with an
unknown adversary within the castle.