The esteemed Wizard of Frobozz was a strange little man, usually
wearing a long cloak, a high pointed hat embroidered with
astrological signs, bushy eyebrows, and a long, stringy, and unkempt
white beard. He received his D.T. (Doctor of Thaumaturgy) degree from
. In the years to follow, the Wizard of Frobozz became a
of the influential Accardi
chapter of the Enchanters' Guild
, then was promoted to a seat on the
Circle of Enchanters
. He was later removed from his position for
forgetfulness bordering on senility. Among his other failings, the
wit of his youth had been replaced by a semisadistic mischievousness
coupled with an inability to pronounce spells other than those
beginning with other than
the letter "F" (he had forgotten all the other spells he used to know).
Despite this, in the 770s or early 80s, he was appointed by Dimwit
as the official court wizard at Flatheadia
. If fate turns as a
wheel, then the
Wizard of Frobozz represented a low point for the excessive king. In
785 GUE, havoc struck Quendor
when he accidentally transformed the
entire West Wing of Dimwit's famed castle into a mountain of fudge.
Thus in one errant stroke of wayward magic, the Wizard's blunder
simultaneously destroyed it with one word, "Fudge."
To see the West Wing of his beloved Castle Flatheadia transformed into
a pile of fudge was too much for anyone to bear. Lord Dimwit, without
much as a written reprimand first, fired the Wizard. And without
another thought, he ordered everyone everywhere to help rebuild the
west wing. Of course, the new wing would be 25 times larger than the
previous one because Dimwit wanted it that way. It took more than a
year for it to be rebult, and yet the faint smell of
fudge would always be hanging in the air.
The Wizard of Frobozz was "retired" to a small, obscure, and unoccupied
corner of the
Great Underground Empire
which would later be referred to as the second
level of the Dungeon of Zork
. Here he constructed for himself a home
amongst the caverns (see below for details regarding his
home), amongst other mysteries, such as capturing a baby sea serpent
and capturing a demon
in a black crystal ball
which he interlinked with
the three Palantirs of Zork
In the last years before the fall of the Empire (881-883), when nearly
the entire population had already been fleeing with fear from the
dreaded Curse Day
and the barbarian invasions, thousands more abandoned
the once-thriving underground caverns near the capital, driven away, at
least in part, by the rude and mischievous pranks of the dangerously
senile Wizard of Frobozz, still
living in the bowels of the empire over a century after he had
accidentally turned Dimwit's castle into a warm pile of chocolate.
In the ninth century, when the Dungeon of Zork saw an influx in the
number of adventurers seeking rumored treasure amongst the hills, the
befuddled Wizard of Frobozz sought to protect his long hidden domain.
Though his powers had diminished and he had acquired a bat or two in
the belfry over the years, he was still a force to be reckoned with,
capable of putting his sorcery
to evil use against the mere human intruder. The frivolous aged wizard,
began to amuse himself by harassing these passing adventurers.
Materializing at odd moments and casting bothersome spells, he would
constantly endeavor to confound adventurers with his capricious powers.
(Though sometimes he would work in bizarre ways, such as when an
adventurer's light source ran out, he would aide them by incanting a
fluoresce spell to return light.)
In the year 948, the adventurers who would eventually become the Second
entered the domain of the Wizard of Frobozz. This
insidious gent intended to undo this adventurer as he
explored the huge and long hidden region of the Great Underground
Empire, by randomly throwing all sorts of spells his way, more in an
amusing attempt to incessantly discourage and annoy rather than to
murder. This adventurer, after bypassing the Wizard's guard
by feeding it candy, entered his home. It was here where that
adventurer gathered together the three palantirs, placed them on their
respective stands (which transformed them into the black sphere), and
released the Wizard's demon when he placed the sphere into the center
of the pentagram. The Wizard of Frobozz was unable to do anything now
that the demon was freed, and after the adventurer had relinquished ten
treasures as payment, he ordered the demon to give him the Wizard's
wand. The demon obeyed, plucking the wand out of his hand and laid it
before the adventurer before fading into smoke. The Wizard, without the
source of his powers, ran from the room in terror.
In the years to follow, the Wizard of Frobozz ran an ad in the New Zork
, seeking an authentic working enchanter
's wand as a replacement
for the one that had been stolen by the upstart adventurer. Some soul
must have heeded his request, as by 957 GUE the Wizard was again
molesting adventurers that dared to infiltrate his domain. Shortly
before the end of the First Age of Magic
(966 GUE), the Wizard was no
longer occupying this region. Thus, it remains a mystery as to
how the life of this confused and befuddled soul who had confounded
other adventurers for years met his end.
It is also of interest, that a portrait of the Wizard of
Frobozz, in a typical pose of
anguished bewilderment, was found in Largoneth Castle
in 956 GUE,
undoubtedly painted before his exile.
FLOAT, FLUORESCE AND
FREEZE: MY LIFE IN MAGIC
During the days of his exile, before the
mid-tenth century, the Wizard of Frobozz authored an incoherent book
"Float, Fluoresce and Freeze: My Life in Magic" which was published by
. In the following excerpt, one can observe how senile the wizard
Work of Wizard is not as easy as commonly thought. You must
as I'm sure you do or soon will in the event that you refuse to now,
not, as it were, a judgment on my part, insomuch as it is a kind of
yours, which is not to say that you are, I believe, in possession of a
nature, of which you may or may not be, in either case, and needless to
that is your affair, rather than mine, but I digress from the original
being, and I mean, at this juncture, “original” in the sense of
“original to my
thesis,” a disclaimer that I hasten to add in the slight yet
possibility that one would mistruefully and woefully assume that I
the original point of this whole business, this whole affair, this
empire, you know, since the dawning of man, the threshold of time, the
of Zork, etc. etc. and so forth and so you see, there are, in
I use the term loosely. There
course, the old stand-bys -- the general education, the stuff of
coursework at any accredited Thaumaturgical College.
Speaking of which, you must have a care never
to employ the Fifmia -- or was it Zifmia? -- spells, unless you are
to, or are just ambivalent in the event that you would indeed, halt
was it magically summon a being? -- on which occasion you would also
invoke the whole group of Firgol Fumzo incantations -- or was it Girgol
-- which will in
any case accomplish
either of the above and quite possibly also destroy a mongoose.
that you've mentioned mongoose, or perhaps, mongeese, I am recalling an
incident in my early apprenticeship that involves a wizard, a platypus,
much Accardian cordial. And,
I suppose a
mongoose, which is why I am recalling it, but I cannot for all Zork
what that poor creature has to do with the unraveling of my tale,
that it is at once very witty and also very informative. Which is why I am called
Wizard, meaning at
its root, "one who is wise," or perhaps "wiz," I forget
now, but in either case, that is what I am called.
THE WIZARD OF FROBOZZ'S
The underground house of the Wizard of Frobozz lay at the southwestern
corner of the second level of the Dungeon of Zork. Entry to the home
was protected by a guard lizard. The first room to enter was
the workshop, which connected to the trophy room and the workroom.
There was the pentagram room, the aquarium room (holding a massive baby
sea serpent), and in the southwest sector was the wizard's personal
The Wizard's trophy room was filled with memorabilia of various sorts
which were the fruits of diligent labor and study over many years.
Framed diplomas and several old magic wands were mounted on wand racks
adorned the walls. A collection of dull and nicked swords testified to
the fate of many foolhardy adventurers. Small bottles contained
discarded homunculi (a few preserved in alcohol). There was a stuffed
on a perch above an ornate trophy case which was imbedded into the
wall. The Wizard protected his memorabilia with a powerful and fearful
spell which was very difficult to break.
The wizard's workroom contained many shelves and racks on the walls,
but the Wizard's workbench dominated the room. It was made of dark,
heavy wood bound with iron. The workbench was stained from many years
of use, and was deeply gouged as though some huge clawed animal had
been imprisoned on it. There were burn marks and even notes written in
a crabbed hand. Many arcane items were scattered about the bench;
alembics, mortar and pestle, small knives of various sizes, odd scraps
of vellum, wax candles, and much more. In the center of a relatively
clear area of the bench was affixed three stands - ruby, sapphire, and
diamond - which formed a triangle.
This was where the Wizard of Frobozz lived. The room continously
shifted it form:
THE WIZARD OF FROBOZZ'S
- sparsely furnished and almost monkish in its austerity
- an opulently furnished seraglio out of some unknown
- decorated in the style of a great king
- overhung with palm-trees and lianas; the only furniture is
- constructed of delicate and wispy cloud-stuffs
- furnished in plastic and metal and looks like the control
deck of a spaceship
- a suburban bedroom complete with bunk beds
- a dank and dimly lighted cave, its floor piled with furs
and old bones
The wand of the Wizard of Frobozz seemed to be the only source of his
power in the days that his magical knowledge had faded, and even then,
he seemed to have random blunders in which he was unable to properly
unleash the spell he wished. These include blue smoke rising out of his
sleeve, or absolutely nothing happening.
To work the wand, the wielder had to wave it at the object to be
ensorcelled, then incant the spell (a safety interlock prevented the
fatal feedback loop that using the wand on one's self would
cause). Most effects are temporary. After
each spell, the wand required to be recharged from its last use. It
used during that time, it was said to short-circuit, discharging magic
everything, turn the wielder into a toad, fill the room with a fetid
smell, as well as all sorts of other grubby things, before the wand
The spells contained in the wand
are as follows, with their effects, though not all of the spells have
been researched in their entirety:
subject is throw off a flying object (such as flipping over hot-air
balloons) or off a cliff ledge.
subject will see a
bizarre object that is not in the room. These include a pile of jewels,
a gold ingot, a bulging chest, a yellow sphere, a basilisk, a grue, or
a convention of wizards.
fear is instilled in the subject, forcing him to be afraid of the
caster. This spell has no effect on demons.
subject is burdened by extreme weariness, to the point that he
is unable even to carry his own belongings.
invisible cord is stretched around the subject, usually causing him to
subject is cursed with the same effects as a heavy drunkard.
subject is turned into a pile of bat guano.
subject is maddened with an overwhelming ferocity to tear
anything in sight limb from limb.
subject is made immune to fire, even dragon fire.
of the subject's objects magically disappears.
subject and all of his belongings rise into the air about five feet.
When the spells effect wears off, the subject sinks quietly down again.
spell is known to instantly destroy Frobozz Magic Robots, as their lack of
a floating-point processor does not enable them to divide most
object begins to glow, becoming a light source.
subject is unable to move a muscle, and feels limbs feel like he has
been turned to stone
massive bolt of lightning reduces the subject to a pile of smoking
spell turns the subject into a mountain of fudge.
spell causes the subject to become clumsy and drop objects they are
|SOURCE(S): Zork II, Enchanter, Sorcerer, Zork: Nemesis, Zork: Grand Inquisitor, The New Zork Times 3.1|