SHIRT OF AWESOME!!!
The Shirt of AWESOME!!!, invented by the mighty wizard
Dude Hobbleguzz,
is known to be the greatest surfing-related magical item. According to
an unknown surfer (the last one known to be in possession of the
shirt), it did not help one surf, but made the wearer part of his
board. "It let you be at one with the ocean, so that you could nail
every swell and ride every tube. Plus it was the best way to get all
the beach bunnies." It has become tradition for the surfer population
to yell the "awesome" part of the Shirt of AWESOME!!!, so that the
other "kooks" would know how awesome it was.
Hobbleguzz
died while wearing the shirt and catching some
“gnarlatious heavies”
off the White Cliffs.
To cememorate this surfing legend, a nook in a
cave of the White Cliffs where he met his end was converted into a
shrine. The Shirt of AWESOME!!! was put on display along with various
other pieces of surfing paraphernalia. The surfer population felt that
the cave was too "mondo" depressing,
so they moved the Shirt of AWESOME!!! to a clearing in a dense copse of
bushes elsewhere in the
Frigid
River Valley.
Sometime
during the
Second Age
of Magic, a party of pirates stole the Shirt of
AWESOME!!! from the shrine and pitched camp at the
White Cliffs Beach.
Seeking to uncover the shirt for a client, an adventurer, known only by
the alias "
Dirk Softly",
stole the relic from them while they were
surfing (along with a chest, which the shirt had gotten caught in) and
gave it to an unknown surfer.
This
surfer, the last known to be in possession of the Shirt of
AWESOME!!! was described as a bearded, dishevelled man with a
peg
leg, eyes that did not appear to focus on anything in this dimension,
and the smell of surf-board wax on his breath. This surfer claimed
that he
could “feel all the mystical energies of the surfing gods pouring into”
him. He
felt, “so like, at one with the
dolphins.”
Since his "mondo" wipe-out
that caused him to lose his leg to a sea monster, he hoped that the
Shirt of AWESOME!!! would once again allow him to impress the "beach
bunnies."
SOURCE(S): Legends
of Zork |