SHIRT OF AWESOME!!!

The Shirt of AWESOME!!!, invented by the mighty wizard Dude Hobbleguzz, is known to be the greatest surfing-related magical item. According to an unknown surfer (the last one known to be in possession of the shirt), it did not help one surf, but made the wearer part of his board. "It let you be at one with the ocean, so that you could nail every swell and ride every tube. Plus it was the best way to get all the beach bunnies." It has become tradition for the surfer population to yell the "awesome" part of the Shirt of AWESOME!!!, so that the other "kooks" would know how awesome it was.

Hobbleguzz died while wearing the shirt and catching some “gnarlatious heavies” off the White Cliffs. To cememorate this surfing legend, a nook in a cave of the White Cliffs where he met his end was converted into a shrine. The Shirt of AWESOME!!! was put on display along with various other pieces of surfing paraphernalia. The surfer population felt that the cave was too "mondo" depressing, so they moved the Shirt of AWESOME!!! to a clearing in a dense copse of bushes elsewhere in the Frigid River Valley.

Sometime during the Second Age of Magic, a party of pirates stole the Shirt of AWESOME!!! from the shrine and pitched camp at the White Cliffs Beach. Seeking to uncover the shirt for a client, an adventurer, known only by the alias "Dirk Softly", stole the relic from them while they were surfing (along with a chest, which the shirt had gotten caught in) and gave it to an unknown surfer.

This surfer, the last known to be in possession of the Shirt of AWESOME!!! was described as a bearded, dishevelled man with a peg leg, eyes that did not appear to focus on anything in this dimension, and the smell of surf-board wax on his breath. This surfer claimed that he could “feel all the mystical energies of the surfing gods pouring into” him. He felt, “so like, at one with the dolphins.” Since his "mondo" wipe-out that caused him to lose his leg to a sea monster, he hoped that the Shirt of AWESOME!!! would once again allow him to impress the "beach bunnies."
 
SOURCE(S): Legends of Zork